Time and liars (May 2001)
Saturday, April 28
No. Nope. Uh uh. Not gonna do it. Nopers. Probably not. My personal favorite, Forgetta bout it. There are so many words to choose from when declining. Why is it that we utter them so rarely? We gripe about time (book review speaks about it) and how we never have enough. We bore people with our excuses about our obligations and our masochistic busyness. Yet, we would much rather complain then say no. It is like we need to be wrecked with stress and overcome with activity. Maybe we set ourselves up to procrastinate because we want to. We want the rush of adrenaline. We crave it, I guess. Who knows. The Village does know that we dare someone to speak truth (in fact, we declare next week "Tell Non-Tales About Your Time Week"). We beg of someone to actually say that they have no time to relax because they enjoy the pat on the back they receive from society for being so busy. wooooo hooooooo. Truth. What a change. More on this little experiment later.
Thursday, May 3-Scroll down to view the 12 noon comments
Early morning (check back at 12 noon and 5 p.m. for updates)
The ever punctual (read: busy) Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland might just be America's Icon. Land of the Free? You would never think it. We are hurried. Frantic in fact. Yet, for what? It seems that what we want most is for people to perceive us as busy, therefore, important. Yet, as we said earlier this week, Saturday, The Village is declaring this, "Tell Non-Tales About Your Time" week. The weekend is approaching and we want you armed. Weekends are ripe with time tales. So, check back during the day for updates on idea spurring comments to help you create a weekend that is free from needless "posturing" about who is the busiest. It might be that you have an idea yourself on how to end the tales. Give it to email@example.com. We will post.
12 NOON... We received many a comment about "Time Tales". However, "rock-on" and "Go-Village" just don't seem helpful for posting (oopsie, we did it anyway). We did salvage three emails that had a point to make and a help or two. We withheld names.
On weekend Time Crunchers...
..."I was wondering, in the context of weekends do we want to appear busy so that we look important or do we want to appear busy so that we don’t have to get involved in each other’s lives? What better way to avoid personal contact than to be able to say, “Sorry, I have to mow the lawn, coach two little league baseball games and video a dance recital and in the middle of all of that I have to find the time to blah, blah blah!”
The Village did not even think about weekend tales. So true. Pack in the weekend. Ever felt like you go to work to rest. Wooooo. I wonder what would happen if we "iced" a weekend. How about a whole weekend of nothingness and telling everyone about it. We wonder what the response would be.
Hey, we get the reason for having schedules. It is not as much for an offensive move as it is for defense. Schedules exists just in case...just in case you get asked to do something you don't wanna. Of course, if something were to come up that you really wanted to do then suddenly the activity vanishes. Amazing. We agree with the email. Thanks you.
Another Village Thought arose from the east coast:
I realize my own need to be viewed as an aggressive, busy individual, especially since I am a female. There are times that I want desperately to admit that I really do need more than 4 hours a sleep per night. I often want to tell the world that my statements and Halo of "time crunched" led to the break-up of a very important relationship. How do you tell your children that?"
A tip from a Hoosier reader...
"...There are times, when someone finds out that I have a 30 min slot open on the weekends, that I get asked to do someone else's busy work. I often smile and say, "not this time, but, thank you so much for asking". I do not offer and excuse. This often throws them off balance."
Again the village Thanks you.
Gee, you people are kind. All about self evaluation. However, what about the people around us that hurl endless "don't have time" statements? It is here that we offer a tip or two.
When the friend begins the Tale interject this statement, "I must tell you Rick, I was just like you 3 years ago. I hurt with you. You have to have this huge activity thing going just to look important. However, I have found that appearing not busy is much more interesting. Again, you might not be able to get off your busy rat race, and heck, I am always looking for someone to mow my yard while I sip a glass of tea, ha ha."--That should work nicely, minus one friend. How about, when you have a meeting on the weekend (social, religious, whatever) and some inconsiderate busy participant comes in late? Volunteer them. That is right. Use all your political savvy to get them to do something. In fact, make needless motions EVERY time they are late for needless activities for them to do. Watch them squirm when they have to offer up excuses. When asked why you want them to do said activities state, "You know Sam is so busy that he is often forced to be late. It just makes sense to follow the adage, Busy people get stuff done". End of discussion. Of course the best way to end tales of time is to just call people on it. We they start in you counter, "Sally Mae, listen, none of us want to hear about your appointment book. Believe it or not, we have lives to, maybe you should focus on yours instead of trying to impress us." Ok. That is it. By the way, if you cannot note that the level of sarcasm has been ramped up then be advised...We are attempting HUMOR. If you do use the above then make sure you have a good island to camp on. You might shut people up, but they will also shut you out. We just thought you needed a few intense words to get past the rest of the work day.
Check back at 5 central for a few serious meanderings on this issue.
The short of it is this. We often contribute to what we despise. I am not talking about business strategies or political moves. What killing the "tales of time" deals with is being straight with people you are close to. It also means calling people on the issue when need be. The Village often drones on and on about our daily musings so, we stop here by saying this last sentence. Please, no more groaning about what you want to do but can't because we all end up doing what we really, really, really, want to do.
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